Mental Heaviness and Unmade Decisions
Have you experienced that constant background heaviness inside your mind?
That feeling of being mentally tired even on a normal day.
Most people think that kind of exhaustion comes from doing too much work. But a lot of your exhaustion comes from the things you haven’t done yet.
Even small things—like replying to a message, making one phone call, or booking an appointment—are like your brain carrying open tabs all the time. Each one quietly drains your mental energy.
Not deciding is also a decision. So until you fix that, you can’t fix your tiredness. In this explanation, let’s break down how unmade decisions affect your mind and how to finally free yourself from this invisible weight.
How Unfinished Decisions Drain Your Energy
Our brain has a system called the salience network. Its job is to keep track of anything that feels unfinished, uncertain, or important. The moment we leave a decision open, this part of the brain marks it as “don’t forget this.”
This is where the problem begins. Our brain keeps checking on that open loop again and again, even when we are not aware of it. A tiny pending task can make your whole day feel heavier.
It’s like keeping a bunch of apps open on your phone. You’re not actively using them, but they are quietly draining your battery.
We might think, “It’s just a small thing—why is it affecting me so much?” But for your brain, even one small unmade decision is still open and active, so it drains your cognitive battery.
Now imagine having 10 or 20 of these hanging around. Or even hundreds. Your brain carries them like a silent mental weight. It’s no wonder you feel tired, scattered, or mentally heavy even before the day has really started.
If you want to function at your full capacity, you need to close these open tabs properly.
4 Tools to Close Mental Open Tabs
There are many techniques, but here are 4 tools that can be applied in daily life.
1. The 1-Minute Decision Rule
You might not realize it, but we lose a surprising amount of mental energy keeping track of small unfinished tasks—like replying to a message, filling a bottle, or making a quick choice. Because they feel small and not urgent, we tell ourselves we’ll do them later.
But every time we remember them, our brain reactivates the loop again and again.
Use this rule: If something takes less than one minute, decide now.
This closes the loop. When even a small loop is closed, your brain stops tracking it in the background. These tiny closures give back energy that your brain was spending on remembering, worrying, or feeling behind.
2. The 3-Choice Method
Sometimes we stay stuck on decisions not because they are too hard, but because we never actually decide. We tell ourselves, “I’ll think about it later.”
For example, we open a job application or add something to our shopping cart and leave it in a browser tab for 3 days.
We postpone decisions because deciding creates discomfort, while delaying gives temporary relief. But when these decisions are left hanging, they clutter our inner world.
Use this method: whenever a decision comes up, give yourself only 3 choices:
Do it
Schedule it
Delete it
No fourth option like “I’ll revisit this later.”
The moment you remove the fourth option, your brain feels more settled because one more mental tab is closed. Over time, this brings clarity and closure.
3. Somatic Reset
Some situations aren’t logical problems—they’re nervous system signals.
You might stare at an email that needs a reply and feel your stomach tighten. You want to say yes to something, but your jaw clenches. Someone asks you a simple question and your chest suddenly feels heavy.
Your body is saying, “I don’t feel safe to decide.”
When a decision feels uncomfortable, your nervous system goes into alert mode, and that physical stress blocks clear thinking.
In these moments, take three seconds to reset your body:
Drop your shoulders
Take a deep exhale
Name what you’re feeling, such as “I’m scared of choosing wrong”
Help your body feel safe. Once your body settles, your nervous system signals safety, and your brain stops treating the decision like a threat. The decision gets made, and the tab closes.
4. Identity Alignment
Some decisions aren’t logically hard—they feel emotionally conflicting. We don’t know which path is right, so we stay stuck. We avoid deciding because we want to make the perfect choice.
But perfectionism creates paralysis.
Instead of asking, “What’s the right choice?”
ask: “What would the stronger version of me choose?”
Not the stressed or scared version—but the one who is calm, clear, and growing.
When we shift from perfection to identity, fear shrinks. We make choices based on direction, not pressure. That alignment brings peace. The loop closes because we stop doubting ourselves and start becoming ourselves.
When you start closing loops—even small ones—the change is huge. You create more space for what you truly want. Your mind stops feeling crowded, and you feel freer, lighter, clearer, and more in control.