You’re going to learn 5 strategies to deal with difficult people. And I’m not just going to tell you what they are—I’m going to show you how you can actually implement them in real life.
Because let’s be honest, we all know that one person who just makes everything harder than it needs to be. Maybe it’s a coworker, a family member, or someone you have to deal with on a regular basis. And the frustrating part is that you can’t always just avoid them.
So instead of losing your mind every time you have to interact with them, let’s talk about practical ways to protect your peace and stay in control.
Strategy No.1: Don’t Overexplain Yourself
Here’s the thing about difficult people: the more you say, the more ammunition you’re giving them.
Think about it. Have you ever been in a situation where you’re trying to explain your perspective and the other person just keeps twisting your words? They’ll latch onto one tiny detail, take it out of context, and suddenly the whole conversation is derailed. That’s not an accident.
Difficult people will often twist your words, look for contradictions, or pick apart minor details just to keep the argument going. So what can you do instead? Keep your responses clear, short, and to the point. The less you give them to work with, the harder it is for them to manipulate the conversation.
Example
Let’s say you can’t make it to a family gathering and you know there’s going to be pushback.
The overexplaining version sounds like this:
> “Well, I really wanted to come, but I’ve been so stressed lately, and I have this work project that’s been overwhelming. Plus, I haven’t been sleeping well, and I just feel like I need some time to recharge. You know, it’s not that I don’t want to see everyone…”
You’ve given them five different things to pick apart:
“Oh, you’re too stressed? We’re all stressed.”
“You’re not sleeping? Maybe if you managed your time better.”
“You need to recharge? That sounds selfish.”
Here’s the short, more effective version:
> “I won’t be able to make it this time, but I hope you have a great time.”
That’s it. No lengthy justification. No opening the door for debate. You’ve stated your boundary clearly and left nothing for them to grab onto.
And if they push back:
> “I understand you’re disappointed, but it’s not going to work for me this time.”
Rinse and repeat.
The key is recognizing that you don’t owe anyone a dissertation on your personal choices. Your “no” is a complete sentence. The more comfortable you get with that, the less power difficult people have over you.
Strategy No.2: Stay True to Your Values
Emotionally immature people are really good at one thing: getting a reaction.
They may try to bait you into an argument, insult you, or push your buttons just to get you fired up. And here’s the trap—responding with anger or frustration often plays right into their hands. Now they can say, “Look how emotional you’re getting. I’m just trying to have a conversation.”
Instead of letting them control how you react, focus on what you stand for. If you value composure and integrity, hold onto that even when they don’t. In the long run, you’ll feel better knowing you stayed in control of your own behavior.
Example
Imagine you’re at work and a coworker makes a snide comment about a project you worked hard on:
> “Wow, I’m surprised they approved that. I would have done it completely differently.”
They’re clearly trying to get under your skin. Your first instinct might be to snap back:
> “Nobody asked your opinion. Maybe if you spent less time criticizing and more time contributing, you’d understand why they approved it.”
That might feel good in the moment, but what did it accomplish? Now there’s tension, your coworker gets to play the victim, and you’re left frustrated because you let them get to you.
Here’s the alternative:
You pause. You remind yourself that you value professionalism and integrity. Then you respond:
> “I appreciate the feedback. The team and I are happy with how it turned out.”
Short. Calm. Unbothered.
You didn’t take the bait, and you didn’t give them the emotional reaction they were fishing for. More importantly, you walked away feeling good about how you handled it because you stayed true to who you are.
Strategy No.3: Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Let’s talk about boundaries, because this is where a lot of people struggle.
A boundary isn’t just something you say—it’s something you enforce. And that’s the part people forget.
For example, if someone consistently interrupts you and you set a boundary that you’ll leave the conversation if it happens again, you need to follow through. Otherwise, they’ll learn that your boundaries don’t mean much and they’ll keep pushing them.
Boundaries only work when there are real consequences for crossing them.
Example
Let’s say you have a friend who calls you late at night multiple times a week to vent. It’s affecting your sleep and your peace of mind.
So you set a boundary:
> “Hey, I care about you, but I can’t take calls after 9:00 p.m. anymore. I need that time to wind down. If it’s an emergency, text first and I’ll call you back. Otherwise, let’s catch up during the day.”
That’s clear and reasonable.
A few nights later, your phone rings at 10:30 p.m. It’s them, and it’s not an emergency.
This is the moment that matters.
If you answer and spend an hour on the phone, you’ve taught them that your boundary doesn’t actually exist. But if you let it go to voicemail and text the next morning:
> “Hey, I saw you called last night. Let’s catch up today.”
You’ve reinforced that you meant what you said.
They might be annoyed. They might push back. They might even say you’re being a bad friend. That’s their reaction—you don’t have to absorb it. Your boundary is about protecting your well-being. That’s not selfish; it’s necessary.
Strategy No.4: Don’t Try to Change Them
This one is tough because it goes against our natural instinct.
It’s tempting to believe that if you just explain things the right way, they’ll finally understand and change. If you find the perfect words, they’ll have a lightbulb moment and everything will be different.
Here’s the hard truth: some people are committed to their behavior. No amount of reasoning will make them see your side.
Trying to change them only drains your energy and leaves you frustrated. Instead, focus on how you respond. Protect your peace. Step away when needed. Accept that their behavior is their problem, not yours.
This is especially hard when it’s someone you care about—a critical parent, a partner who refuses to take accountability, or a friend who always plays the victim. You keep thinking, “If I just say it differently, they’ll get it.”
But think about how much energy you’ve already spent. Think about how many times you’ve explained your feelings clearly and nothing changed.
At some point, you have to ask yourself:
Is this person actually interested in changing, or am I exhausting myself for no reason?
Example
Let’s say you have a family member who constantly makes passive-aggressive comments about your job, relationships, appearance, or life choices. Every time you explain why it’s hurtful, nothing changes.
You can keep having that same conversation for the next ten years. Or you can accept that this is who they are and focus on how you want to respond.
That might mean:
Limiting your time with them
Changing the subject
Saying, “I’m not discussing this with you”
Or walking away
The point is that you stop trying to fix them and start protecting yourself. That’s not giving up—that’s choosing yourself.
Strategy No.5: Don’t Take the Bait
Difficult people thrive on getting a reaction.
They’ll poke at your insecurities, twist your words, or play the victim just to get an emotional response. The moment you engage, they win.
The best strategy is to stay calm, stay neutral, and don’t let them see that they’ve gotten to you. Think of it like a game—if you refuse to play, they have nothing to work with.
Example
Someone says something deliberately provocative:
> “You always act like you’re so much better than everyone else.”
They want you to get defensive:
> “What? No, I don’t. How can you say that?”
Once you’re defensive, they can keep pushing:
> “See? You’re getting all worked up. I’m just being honest.”
But what if you don’t take the bait?
What if you simply say:
“Okay.” Or, “That’s an interesting perspective.”
And then change the subject or move on with your day.
There’s no argument because you didn’t engage.
This takes practice. It’s not easy to stay calm when someone is deliberately pushing your buttons. But the more you do it, the easier it gets.
And here’s the bonus: once difficult people realize they can’t get a reaction out of you, they often stop trying. It’s no fun for them if you’re not playing along.
You’ll need to rehearse these 5 strategies so they become natural when the time arises.
Let’s recap:
Don’t overexplain yourself
Stay true to your values
Set boundaries and enforce them
Don’t waste energy trying to change them
Don’t take the bait
These strategies aren’t about being cold or shutting people out. They’re about protecting your peace and maintaining your sense of self when dealing with people who don’t respect boundaries.
At the end of the day, you can’t control how other people behave—but you absolutely can control how you respond.
The more you practice these strategies, the more natural they’ll become. You’ll notice that interactions with difficult people don’t drain you the way they used to. You’ll feel more in control, more confident, and, honestly, more at peace.